Tuesday night I encountered a very humbling experience, I attended the 2008 Mark Coppage Nursing Scholarship Award Presentation and Reception. Let me start by explaining the process of applying for this application. I saw a memo on a bulletin board at school regarding a nursing scholarship. I dismiss most of these as I assumed that most are reserved for the 4.0 students or the more traditional just out of high school student. I was bored this particular day so I read the entire memo. It stated that this scholarship was more about your character than your GPA. I decided I would at least get an application and think about submitting it.
In order to apply I had to write a narrative about the qualities that I possess that are similar to Dr. Coppage. He was a compassionate, caring man who wanted to help all those around him. Deep in my heart I know I'm that kind of person too, despite the hard core model some of you get to experience. I wrote the narrative. It was well thought out but didn't really highlight any great achievement scholastically. I had thought about using some illnesses our families have endured but thought that would be a plea for sympathy. I simply stated how God had given me the desire pursue this career. I presented the qualities I possess as a mother and how they will benefit me in my nursing career. Somewhere in the back of my mind I thought, "How can they turn down someone with six kids, works full time and goes to school?", but they could have and in a way they did. I had already calculated how long the girls could stay in daycare and how many months of gas I could get for $5000. Not that I "knew" I would win, but I somehow thought I deserved it.
The truth is, I did need the money, but so did many other applicants. I was a little let down by the fact that I had to attend this ceremony by myself. When I got there I was even more disappointed. Everyone had husbands, children, parents, faculty, someone there to support them, many of them had flowers and gifts, not that I needed those things. I knew I was expected to say something. Let me back up and explain how I knew I had placed. I got a call from one of the panelist that interviewed me telling me I had been selected to receive $2000 as a runner up. Well in my prideful mind I wanted to think that I was the runner up, as in second place (a girl at school asked me if the winner had 7 kids). I was told to expect a letter to follow-up the phone call and to plan on attending the awards presentation. The letter came and it revealed that I had placed 4th, not so bad, not the glorified second I had adjusted to, but not last either. The letter was congratulatory in nature, commending me on my hard work (blah, blah, blah) and it asked that I say a little something at the presentation.
Fast forward to Tuesday evening. I spent 2 hours in traffic, not sure if I will even get there in time. Rush in, shake hands, and have a seat behind a sweet family of five, you could tell that mom was a little unsettled. Her what appeared to be 3 year old didn't want to sit still. You could see her begging him to behave. I have been there before, you love your kids but you just want them to behave and make you look like a well put togther woman - with perfect children! For brief a moment I was glad that I hadn't brought any of my own children. I start looking around the room, just taking in the different backgrounds. I can hear thick accents. I can see young girls, older women, men, hospital personnel, just a wide variety of individuals. I smile and nod as people come in, trying to make their way around me to congratulate their family members, friends, or classmates. I'm scanning the room to see who I think the winner is (like you can tell by looking). Her name was Susan Irwin so I became fairly certain she was the pale girl in front of me. But was special about her, she's got three boys, a husband, a family... but does she work and go to school? Does she know how to pump breast milk, answer her cell phone and drive at the same time? (No one should practice this by the way). What makes her so much more special than me?
Proverbs 27:18-19 says, "Pride goes before destruction, And a haughty spirit before a fall. Better to be of a humble spirit with the lowly, Than to divide the spoil with the proud." Don't be thinking you'll have to divide spoils with me yet, there's still hope for me, Jesus hasn't finished working on me yet!
As the presentation began the director of pastoral care thanked everyone for coming and began her introduction of this years recipients. "We have 2 fourth place recipients." OK wait a minute. Not only did I not win, I didn't come in second, I didn't really come in fourth either. I can do the math, with a winner and 8 runner ups, I was either 8th or 9th. What a blow to my ego. Well, I still got $2000 and that was the point right? Maybe not. The first 4th place person was a sharecroppers daughter. Puhleeease! How much did these people have to reveal to get a better place than I did? And just exactly how did they verify this stuff. She thanked everybody and mentioned that she would be graduating at the age of 45. Big whup. She had 2 kids, how hard could that be? I was introduced and I must say it was as if everyone in room gasped when she told them I had six kids. At least they thought that was a big deal. She acknowledged how hard I've worked and that I have a career outside of home to help support our family. I got up, thanked the family, foundation, yada, yada and then made a joke about 5 epidurals, got a laugh and sat down.
With each introduction after my own, I could feel my heart softening to their plights. There were 2 girls from foreign countries (Nigeria and Kenya), they both are away from their families and plan to return to their homelands to provide medical care. There was a man who had worked as a missionary, a daughter who had lost her mother recently, she was an unemployed single mom. A minister of music and several others. Then the winner was announced. She was in fact the mom with three boys in front of me. She had encountered a late term miscarriage, several life threatening illnesses with her children and her husband was in renal failure. The scholarship was a huge financial help and confirmation from God about her career choice. She had us in tears, as did many of the others.
"O Lord, who am I to think I have any special worth, other than to chosen be by You." God, in that moment, knocked my pride out of my body and stomped on it for a while. I pray that if ever I have that haughty spirit He will do it again. For you see, I do have 6 kids, I do work outside the home and go to school, but as I wrote in my narrative, I am blessed by God, He has enabled me to endure each day, and it's really not that hard. He has given me a great husband, good kids, wonderful parents and in-laws that support me in all that I do. So, ninth place was meant to help me financially, but more importantly it was teach me a far greater lessen about God's provision in my life. It's a reminder of who He wants me to be, and what He wants to motivate me to action. Thanks be to a God that will stomp on the bad stuff to mold us a little more into His image.
As Thanksgiving approaches I hope each of you time to relect on what God has done for you. I thank Him for each of you and what you mean to me.
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Monday, November 17, 2008
Women shouldn't buy large appliances.
So last week we noticed our frozen fruit sorbet wasn't so frozen anymore. Upon investigating, neither was our ice cream. I promptly moved all of these important staples to the small stand alone freezer until we could diagnose a problem or replace the refrigerator. Being it's probably 30 years old and has been sweating bad for the last year we decided it was time to replace it. Eric had to work Saturday and since I would be making the call on color and what kind of water filter it has (you know the important stuff) I decided to go to buy a refrigerator. Once I had found the one, the only deciding factor was can they deliver today and will they haul away the old one - yes to both, so it was a done deal.
Uhhhhummm.
We speed back home (not literally, I did obey the speed limit signs... I think), I start unloading the contents of the old fridge, finding gloves and disinfectant for what I fear might be under it. The nice men arrive, remove the old one, and bring in my nice new, black, water-filtering, ice cream freezing, coke chilling refrigerator. The only problem is that I didn't measure it. I did think about it, I did call Eric and J before writing the check. We all agreed that width would be the only problem and that since it sat at the end of the cabinets with no wall to the other side we would be safe. Well, we were wrong! It was about one-half inch too tall. So, here I am most of my day is gone, I have a huge refrigerator sitting in the middle of my kitchen and I still haven't studied for my test that is on Monday (today... more later). The moral of the story is to always measure before you buy or let a man do the picking so you have someone to blame.
Kyle, Nora Kate, Christen and I stayed home from church so I could study - well the actual reason is because the girls were coughing and had runny noses. I secretly thought I would study - only God doesn't think that's a good reason to skip church so every time I sat down He would have Nora Kate fall off a bed or run into arm of the couch. Needless to say - I found it necessary to give them most of my attention until the cavalry arrived later. Once the cavalry did arrive I decided to try studying in the peace and quiet of my room - only since my room isn't located in a dungeon somewhere there is no peace and quiet. If you piece together the time I did spend studying it would be a fair to say I got in an hour or so. In lieu of the 4 hours per day for a week that my instructor suggested. Don't despair - I know the outcome.
Nora Kate woke up wanting her Maamaw this morning. She enjoyed her time with her Friday evening. I reassured her that she would get to see her Tuesday evening when I have to go to Decatur. If you haven't heard I am a runner up in a nursing scholarship. Ordinarily runner up would disappoint me, but this time it meant $2,000! I have to be at Dekalb Medical on Tuesday for a reception. They asked that I say a few words. I'm not sure if they really know me; I've never been asked to speak and kept it at "a few words". I am really nervous though, I don't know if they're expecting me to say a few words in appreciation or what nursing means to me or who knows what. When I applied for the application I wrote this really wordy little narrative that basically says being a nurse will utilize the skills I have cultivated as a mom and that regardless of the contributions I will make to society as a nurse it will not be any greater than the one I make raising my children.
Tucker and Rebekah are busy preparing for Christmas concerts at school. Kyle is giving Ms. Mary and Ms. Boob (her name is Dawn and she goes by Boo which Kyle won't say, go figure) a run for their money, she's learning a lot in school. Olivia is just trying to stay in school, I mean at school. She likes school it just seems she is always sick with something or another. Most of you know the story of her congestive heart failure in March 2007, I want to try and chronicle it here (someday) so you will know how miraculous God really is. Olivia and Rebekah are taking piano lessons at Stephens' Music Co. and Tucker is taking guitar (that's a plug if you need any instruments, accessories or lessons see stephens-music.com). We're hoping there will be more joy and less noise in the future.
My mom, grandmother and aunt are headed to New York for the week; please pray for safe travels and good weather. If you have time, remember me around 6:00 tomorrow evening. And by the way I got an "A" on that test this morning. Thanks for caring.
So that's a lot more than you asked for, wait, you didn't ask for any of it did you? Who's counting anyway?
Have a wonderful week! God Bless!
Heather
Uhhhhummm.
We speed back home (not literally, I did obey the speed limit signs... I think), I start unloading the contents of the old fridge, finding gloves and disinfectant for what I fear might be under it. The nice men arrive, remove the old one, and bring in my nice new, black, water-filtering, ice cream freezing, coke chilling refrigerator. The only problem is that I didn't measure it. I did think about it, I did call Eric and J before writing the check. We all agreed that width would be the only problem and that since it sat at the end of the cabinets with no wall to the other side we would be safe. Well, we were wrong! It was about one-half inch too tall. So, here I am most of my day is gone, I have a huge refrigerator sitting in the middle of my kitchen and I still haven't studied for my test that is on Monday (today... more later). The moral of the story is to always measure before you buy or let a man do the picking so you have someone to blame.
Kyle, Nora Kate, Christen and I stayed home from church so I could study - well the actual reason is because the girls were coughing and had runny noses. I secretly thought I would study - only God doesn't think that's a good reason to skip church so every time I sat down He would have Nora Kate fall off a bed or run into arm of the couch. Needless to say - I found it necessary to give them most of my attention until the cavalry arrived later. Once the cavalry did arrive I decided to try studying in the peace and quiet of my room - only since my room isn't located in a dungeon somewhere there is no peace and quiet. If you piece together the time I did spend studying it would be a fair to say I got in an hour or so. In lieu of the 4 hours per day for a week that my instructor suggested. Don't despair - I know the outcome.
Nora Kate woke up wanting her Maamaw this morning. She enjoyed her time with her Friday evening. I reassured her that she would get to see her Tuesday evening when I have to go to Decatur. If you haven't heard I am a runner up in a nursing scholarship. Ordinarily runner up would disappoint me, but this time it meant $2,000! I have to be at Dekalb Medical on Tuesday for a reception. They asked that I say a few words. I'm not sure if they really know me; I've never been asked to speak and kept it at "a few words". I am really nervous though, I don't know if they're expecting me to say a few words in appreciation or what nursing means to me or who knows what. When I applied for the application I wrote this really wordy little narrative that basically says being a nurse will utilize the skills I have cultivated as a mom and that regardless of the contributions I will make to society as a nurse it will not be any greater than the one I make raising my children.
Tucker and Rebekah are busy preparing for Christmas concerts at school. Kyle is giving Ms. Mary and Ms. Boob (her name is Dawn and she goes by Boo which Kyle won't say, go figure) a run for their money, she's learning a lot in school. Olivia is just trying to stay in school, I mean at school. She likes school it just seems she is always sick with something or another. Most of you know the story of her congestive heart failure in March 2007, I want to try and chronicle it here (someday) so you will know how miraculous God really is. Olivia and Rebekah are taking piano lessons at Stephens' Music Co. and Tucker is taking guitar (that's a plug if you need any instruments, accessories or lessons see stephens-music.com). We're hoping there will be more joy and less noise in the future.
My mom, grandmother and aunt are headed to New York for the week; please pray for safe travels and good weather. If you have time, remember me around 6:00 tomorrow evening. And by the way I got an "A" on that test this morning. Thanks for caring.
So that's a lot more than you asked for, wait, you didn't ask for any of it did you? Who's counting anyway?
Have a wonderful week! God Bless!
Heather
Friday, November 14, 2008
Needing Maamaw
Nora Kate has been doing great. She has had a few moments the last two days where she wants her Maamaw (all the kids call Carole Grandma except Nora Kate). So in just a few moments I'm off to pick up my sweet girl and take her to spend the evening with Maamaw while Olivia and I have a girls night out to do some birthday shopping. We're having a joint party for Rebekah and Ella at Mama Pam's tomorrow. Thanks for all the prayers you've been lifting up on our behalf. Hope all of you have a great weekend. I have a big test to study for, I'd really like an "A", but who's counting anyway.
I'll update you again next week.
Heather
I'll update you again next week.
Heather
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
88 mph
Ok. I'll admit it "88 mph" does stand how fast I was going when the nice state trooper clocked me on his radar Monday morning. It's also how fast I was going when he ever so mercifully gave me a warning. It is not how fast I normally drive. My husband has warned me to use my cruise control and to set it on 69 or 70 (no chance of a ticket at that speed not to mention saving on gas mileage) but he always has a spiritual aspect as well (he's bad, I mean good about that). If we ask God to bless our travel but then break the law to get there, then we're essentially asking God to bless our sin, how crazy would that be?
But admitting my shortcomings is not what this blog is about. 88 mph also stands for the number of times I hear "Mommy" or some derivative of it during a one hour span each evening. It usually starts when I make the last round of pickups (Christen and Nora Kate get picked up first at daycare, then down the street to Grandma and Pop's to get Kyle, and finally across town to Mama Pam and Papa's to get Olivia, Rebekah, and Tucker). They all pile in to the van and start telling me about their day. The first 10-15 times I hear my name it's all at once and I couldn't tell you which child even said it. Then it becomes a round robin where everyone is trying to get their little bit in. It can be overwhelming at times. I'm pretty good at tuning out whatever I don't want to hear - but lately that has been backfiring on me as the kids will be doing something they shouldn't be and when I get on to them they tell me that they asked and I didn't say no so they thought that was a yes - did I lose you? Sometimes I lose myself.
Thanks for all your prayers about daycare. When I picked Nora Kate up last night she was in good spirits. Mrs. Lori came over and told me about her day - crying stopped shortly after I left and she only cried a little at nap time, she then asked Nora Kate if she was going to come back and with a big smile she said, "Yes". What a good feeling that was. We proceeded to have a good evening, still extra clingy but to be honest I don't mind the attention because it reminds me how much she loves and still needs me despite my ever growing absence in her life (tears now so I'll stop about that for now). This morning she was quiet on our drive to school and started asking me to stay as we pulled into the parking lot. I prodded her into helping me take Christen to Mrs. Pat, as we got in to room I placed Christen in the floor to play and Nora Kate asked to stay with her. I told her she was too big and that she would have to go to the toddler room next door. About that time Mrs. Pat made my day - she said that Nora Kate could stay for a few minutes if she'd like (to make the transition a little easier). So with that, I asked for a kiss, said goodbye and off I went - NO TEARS! Thank you Mrs. Pat!
Pray for Eric tomorrow morning. I'll be back in class and he'll have full drop off duty again. Pray that his will be as easy as mine was this morning. Pray for Nora Kate too. While you're already there on your knees, give in a good word for other children as well. Our focus has really been on Nora Kate this week, may they understand her need for our attention and know we not neglecting them. Pray for us to use our time as wisely as possible and to be parents that will guide them in the way they should go.
Maybe this blog is about my shortcomings. For me to take time and reflect on how I’m doing as a wife, insurance agent, nursing student, friend, counselor, chauffeur, cook, maid, daughter, mommy. I hope each of you has someone special in your life to make you want to get up and live life to the fullest each day. If you’re as blessed as I am you have many special people in your life. 88 mph. That’s the number of times I hope I hear "mommy" again tonight… but who’s counting anyway.
But admitting my shortcomings is not what this blog is about. 88 mph also stands for the number of times I hear "Mommy" or some derivative of it during a one hour span each evening. It usually starts when I make the last round of pickups (Christen and Nora Kate get picked up first at daycare, then down the street to Grandma and Pop's to get Kyle, and finally across town to Mama Pam and Papa's to get Olivia, Rebekah, and Tucker). They all pile in to the van and start telling me about their day. The first 10-15 times I hear my name it's all at once and I couldn't tell you which child even said it. Then it becomes a round robin where everyone is trying to get their little bit in. It can be overwhelming at times. I'm pretty good at tuning out whatever I don't want to hear - but lately that has been backfiring on me as the kids will be doing something they shouldn't be and when I get on to them they tell me that they asked and I didn't say no so they thought that was a yes - did I lose you? Sometimes I lose myself.
Thanks for all your prayers about daycare. When I picked Nora Kate up last night she was in good spirits. Mrs. Lori came over and told me about her day - crying stopped shortly after I left and she only cried a little at nap time, she then asked Nora Kate if she was going to come back and with a big smile she said, "Yes". What a good feeling that was. We proceeded to have a good evening, still extra clingy but to be honest I don't mind the attention because it reminds me how much she loves and still needs me despite my ever growing absence in her life (tears now so I'll stop about that for now). This morning she was quiet on our drive to school and started asking me to stay as we pulled into the parking lot. I prodded her into helping me take Christen to Mrs. Pat, as we got in to room I placed Christen in the floor to play and Nora Kate asked to stay with her. I told her she was too big and that she would have to go to the toddler room next door. About that time Mrs. Pat made my day - she said that Nora Kate could stay for a few minutes if she'd like (to make the transition a little easier). So with that, I asked for a kiss, said goodbye and off I went - NO TEARS! Thank you Mrs. Pat!
Pray for Eric tomorrow morning. I'll be back in class and he'll have full drop off duty again. Pray that his will be as easy as mine was this morning. Pray for Nora Kate too. While you're already there on your knees, give in a good word for other children as well. Our focus has really been on Nora Kate this week, may they understand her need for our attention and know we not neglecting them. Pray for us to use our time as wisely as possible and to be parents that will guide them in the way they should go.
Maybe this blog is about my shortcomings. For me to take time and reflect on how I’m doing as a wife, insurance agent, nursing student, friend, counselor, chauffeur, cook, maid, daughter, mommy. I hope each of you has someone special in your life to make you want to get up and live life to the fullest each day. If you’re as blessed as I am you have many special people in your life. 88 mph. That’s the number of times I hope I hear "mommy" again tonight… but who’s counting anyway.
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Big girl school... troubles.
So who's the big girl? Nora Kate! She has started daycare and is having a little trouble adjusting to her early morning routine. It's only day 2 so I still have hope that this will all work out. We decided to start Christen and Nora Kate in daycare so Eric's mom could get some well needed rest. (She's been the childcare provider for the last 12 years.) She has several health conditions that really need her attention, please remember her in your prayers.
Back to the situation at hand, Eric took Nora Kate on day 1 because I had an early morning class and couldn't. He called me to let me know that drop off was absolutely horrible. He said she cried like never before (I'm guessing he might have too). I reassured him, as mothers and wives often have to, that she would be fine and that it would take a few days for her to get used to her new schedule. When I went to pick her up yesterday evening she ran to me like I've never seen, I got the biggest hug I've ever gotten too! I asked how her day had been, if she'd played on the playground, etc. She indicated that she did have a good day so I got brave and asked if she was going to come back tomorrow - to which she said, "No!". She then proceeded to breakdown crying. I felt so bad. Eric's been mad that I made this decision and now Nora Kate was having a mini-meltdown.
After we got in the van we talked about her day and how much fun she had. I told her that Mommy would take her to "big girl school" tomorrow, that seemed to make her happy. So we continued to talk into the evening about her day and how much fun today was going to be. She was extra clingy and needed a lot of mommy time - which upset daddy, because up until 7:45 Monday morning she was most definitely a daddy's girl. She wanted me to hold her last night and much of this morning.
We talked all the way to school and as we got closer and I began to talk about being a big girl and not crying when mommy went to work, to which she said, "You stay with me." I then realized that she thought by my taking her to school that I would be staying with her. You could see in her eyes how disappointed, worried, and possibly even scared she was. She then began to cry and she continued to cry as I took Christen to her room (who by the way doesn't care where she stays - she's very content, Mrs. Pat says we just have to get her to go to sleep in the bed by herself now). Mrs. Lori took Nora Kate from me so I could get to work, she continued to cry - which turned into screaming. Please pray that God will calm her fears (ours too!) and that she will adjust quickly.
One final note, I like the title of our blog but I can't decide on an anchor verse for us. I was going to do this big beginning post that explained why we have 6 kids, what we believe, etc., but I just haven't found the time and I don't know if I have all the answers. I decided to go ahead and just begin blogging so I could get back into the swing of writing and to keep you up to date on all things Guthrie. Hope your day has gotten off to a better start than mine, but who's counting anyway?
Heather
Back to the situation at hand, Eric took Nora Kate on day 1 because I had an early morning class and couldn't. He called me to let me know that drop off was absolutely horrible. He said she cried like never before (I'm guessing he might have too). I reassured him, as mothers and wives often have to, that she would be fine and that it would take a few days for her to get used to her new schedule. When I went to pick her up yesterday evening she ran to me like I've never seen, I got the biggest hug I've ever gotten too! I asked how her day had been, if she'd played on the playground, etc. She indicated that she did have a good day so I got brave and asked if she was going to come back tomorrow - to which she said, "No!". She then proceeded to breakdown crying. I felt so bad. Eric's been mad that I made this decision and now Nora Kate was having a mini-meltdown.
After we got in the van we talked about her day and how much fun she had. I told her that Mommy would take her to "big girl school" tomorrow, that seemed to make her happy. So we continued to talk into the evening about her day and how much fun today was going to be. She was extra clingy and needed a lot of mommy time - which upset daddy, because up until 7:45 Monday morning she was most definitely a daddy's girl. She wanted me to hold her last night and much of this morning.
We talked all the way to school and as we got closer and I began to talk about being a big girl and not crying when mommy went to work, to which she said, "You stay with me." I then realized that she thought by my taking her to school that I would be staying with her. You could see in her eyes how disappointed, worried, and possibly even scared she was. She then began to cry and she continued to cry as I took Christen to her room (who by the way doesn't care where she stays - she's very content, Mrs. Pat says we just have to get her to go to sleep in the bed by herself now). Mrs. Lori took Nora Kate from me so I could get to work, she continued to cry - which turned into screaming. Please pray that God will calm her fears (ours too!) and that she will adjust quickly.
One final note, I like the title of our blog but I can't decide on an anchor verse for us. I was going to do this big beginning post that explained why we have 6 kids, what we believe, etc., but I just haven't found the time and I don't know if I have all the answers. I decided to go ahead and just begin blogging so I could get back into the swing of writing and to keep you up to date on all things Guthrie. Hope your day has gotten off to a better start than mine, but who's counting anyway?
Heather
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